Japanese car freak has named his 4 wives after Japanese automakers and perhaps he was busy watching his favorite porn video on the Porndex when he did it

I have an Arab friend who never gets tired of repeating all the time that fucking on a couch is more romantic and more fun than fucking on the bed any day. He claims to have only fucked his wife on the couch throughout his four honeymoons.

This guy is a great fan of the Japanese cars and he has perhaps owned each and every Japanese car that they ever built. He has named each of his wives after a Japanese car maker. He has named his extremely fun but unreliable wife – Nissan, his fun and reliable wife – Honda, his not much fun but extremely reliable wife – Toyota and last but not the least, his wife that is always ready to go anywhere with him – Subaru.

He always shows pity about the fact that there cannot be such a thing as ride-sharing when it comes to the escort services.

This friend of mine and all his four wives claim to have been trained by the late tantric goddess – Psalm Isadora, personally. He claims that he can last for four hours at a time in an average sex session with his highest record being seven hours. He says that his dick’s sensitivity gets higher with the length of the session but his fucking speed goes lower.

He also owns a sex advice blog, where he recently posted that where an average chick loves Fiat 500 and Volkswagen Beetle, thots seem to hate it and that’s one of the ways to identify one.

When he is not busy fucking one or more of his wives simultaneously, writing on his blog or sleeping, he is busy watching HD porn videos on a website that goes by the name Porndex.

Many female 6 footer ex-journalists are now Amazon pornstars

Amazon Porntube grew the most in the financial year 2009 because of the second world countries gaining access to the internet more rapidly than ever before.

I recently learnt that many expelled female journalists are now working as full-time pornstars and many of them are 6 footers.

I have a very good friend who claims that edging helps his regular meditation routine.

I believe that no matter how many sex positions or masturbation techniques you have tried, there is always so much more to try.

I have a friend who works at a office located on the top of a major and popular skyscraper, he tells me that fucking or jacking off is far more fun on the top of the skyscrapers than it is on the ground. He believes that the reason behind this is that when you are away from the earth, you are closer to the Satan.

I personally believe that the entire world will convert to Protestantism soon because of the liberty and freedom the religion provides along with the social security that comes with being a Christian. I recently heard that Protestantism has also become kind of a pro-masturbation religion lately.

Historically, it has been believed that masturbation is bad for you but all the historians had one thing in common and that is that they were all avid masturbators.

Optimism really works, I have a friend whose penis is only 4.5 inches long, he says that thinking of himself as Mandingo has really changed the perspective for him completely.

Rev up your cocks to Greek porn when your GF is away

In my girlfriend’s pussy

I feel warmer than all

I can get inside my all

It’s the only way to spend night

In pussy

In my girlfriend’s pussy

I can only give whereas she is the one who receives

The cum

It keeps me sane and intelligent

Her pussy is a magnet

For my dick

Here in my girlfriend’s pussy

When the walls break down

My dick will visit some blood

It is a song that I wrote as a parody for Gary Numan’s cars when my girlfriend is away and I am left on my own with ellinikes tsontes for days to come and ellinikes tsontes is the only thing that is going to help me to cum.

I believe that there is a bias against the single masturbators in our society whereas those that aren’t single don’t feel ashamed bragging about their wanking addiction

I love tall women with big natural boobs. I believe that the bigger the boobs a woman possesses, the more humble and generous she is. That’s why I have always had busty girlfriends and they were all humble and generous as well.

One of my neighbors is a distributor for penis pumps. He makes tens of thousands of dollars in a week. He drives a Bentley Flying Spur which he bought off the penis pumps money.

One of my good friends, to whom this very neighbor supplied penis pump to, claims that he gets migraine whenever he masturbates using his hands but not when he does the same with a penis pump. On the contrary, another friend of mine that uses the very same penis pump as well, can last for hours in the bed but cums too early with the penis pump.

The American dream is over, Japanese pussy, boobs and ass are the new trend

The American dream may have had its day but the Japanese porn is still in trend and it is has been growing like never before lately. I have some friends that don’t like to wank to the porn but rather to the hot news anchors.

Fucking leads to heaven. Don’t believe anybody who tells you that. The reality is that fucking and getting your dick sucked every time you can, makes your life a living heaven and this fact can be attested by anyone who is already on javboard.

I believe that the climate change is responsible for the higher libidos among human beings, especially women, in the recent times. The penis shaped soaps have been around since the late 1970s but I don’t remember seeing any woman until the late 1990s using one. Nowadays, every third woman uses one and the added benefit of that soap is that it can be used as a dildo as well while you are still showering. Even Dr. Phil’s wife Robin uses one.

It is my personal observation and the observation of several cam girls, prostitutes and pornstars that I talked to, that the men who work 12 hours a day, also fuck for hours at a time and the main reason why they work so hard is so that they can get a good pussy or head or both at the end of the day. They say that they are reckless when they are finally reaching to their home, the escort’s location, to the massage parlour or the location of their girlfriend.

I have been using a penis pump lately and it has not only increased my length but overall mass as well.

Thai women don’t talk rubbish once they have a long and warm dong inside them

I take a wank each night watching one of my favorite Thai porn video clip (คลิปหลุด) but it is amazing how I am still as curious when it is wanking time like I was during the first time.

I really believe that the planet earth is highly overpopulated with the humans and I applaud the porn websites for taking care of the overpopulation on earth.

I have a reputation for talking rubbish while fucking and those candies make me and my girlfriend so horny. Me and my girlfriend both believe that candies were the secret behind the serial killer Richard Ramirez’s high testosterone.

I love to eat my girlfriend’s pussy. If you haven’t ever eaten a pussy, do it now. Take my advice! Before eating the pussy, sniff it and ultimately, you won’t need any tutorial at all on how to eat the pussy, sniffing the pussy ultimately makes you a genius pussy-eater without any efforts at all.

From my own example and that of my good friends, I have observed that aggressive men are passive in bed whereas the lazy men are hyperactive in bed.

Last year, for months, I made my morning coffee with my lactating girlfriend’s milk and I am yet to experience a food or drink more energetic than that.

Use it or lose it is not a baseless belief when it comes to the sexual stamina. I don’t know whether you are going to believe me or not, I have stayed celibate for 6 months, only to experience no benefits at all but to lose my sexual stamina and aggression. I would advise you all to stay sexually active all year long for a happy and healthy life.

She was just a pornstar with big tits in Versace

I have a friend who lets me slap his busty wife on the face using my 10 inch long cock, whenever she tries to stop me from doing that, I tell her “Shut the fuck up, bitch.”

I once went to a sexual seminar strictly for the men, where the host and other speakers would ask the men to “Raise their cocks” instead of raising their hands.

I recently watched a video of this sexy and busty pornstar who kept singing throughout the video “I am just a pornstar with big tits in Versace.”

There is a porn solution for everyone nowadays. I have a friend who only uses porn for the moans. His wife’s moans aren’t enough to turn him on. His wife doesn’t allow him to watch any porn, she is the one who turns the porn on each time, so that he can hear the sounds. She has already ordered some expensive speakers from the Amazon as she says that now she is only going to download the MP3 version of these videos and play it on the speakers.

Another friend of mine who has always been a porn addict, tells me that the only thing that is keeping him alive is the big boobs porn otherwise he had no point to go on.

Another friend of mine has been claiming lately that because he gets super-horny during the summers, he has come to the conclusion that it is possible to live off the sun energy.

I have a gay friend as well, who says that he gets reminded of a huge cock whenever someone mentions the word ‘banana’ in front of him.

My girlfriend first cucked me and then bought Xtragel for me

I recently checked a cam model that looked just like Anissa Kate. Hell, my girlfriend just bought a gay monster dildo that looks just like that of his most favorite black pornostar. She also bought Xtragel for me.

Since I started using Xtragel, I have this marvelous capacity that I never get exhausted or tired after fucking, thanks to Xtragel Funciona but cucking makes me tired as fuck and believe me, I have been a cuck and to your surprise, to a gay guy. I know a man who gets tired as fuck only if he fucks his wife every third night and that’s when I come into the picture and into his house. Once when I was fucking this bitch in my own house, my girlfriend caught me in the act and that’s when she cuckolded me with this gay dude with a 10 inch long cock. It is funny how the term boobytrapped’s meaning has been changed completely in the recent times.

Czech girls mostly have nice asses and boobs and the case is no different with my girlfriend. If you have never fucked your curvy Czech girlfriend with her glasses on, do it now.

It is no surprise that many women turn into full-time camgirls after a divorce but that is never going to happen with me as I am never going to marry ever.

I know a guy whose dick got shortened due to a disease after the marriage. He started fucking his wife in the missionary or doggystyle position only because he was now too small for her. But, that is not the end of the story, penis pump came into the picture and saved his marriage, he can now fuck his wife in the cowgirl position again and have all the fun. He claims that he literally felt that his wife wanted to divorce him just because of that.

Aliens also prefer to masturbate to their favorite porno rather than having sex with their partners

A nice pleasurable long wank is a huge accomplishment any day, especially if you do it to your favorite porno film.

I have a somewhat crazy friend who believes that having long hair and beard increases your sexual energy. I don’t know how true it is but this guy himself keeps his hair and beard long and keeps wanking to his favorite porn all the time.

Another friend of mine believes that a handjob is superior to a blowjob any day. This friend of mine gets uncontrollably horny after drinking whisky or coffee and has a huge appetite for Amazon MILFs.

I personally do not understand that why some women with marvelous mountains like to hide them while some others cannot get enough of flaunting them around.

I personally believe that if it weren’t for the advanced pornography and contraceptive methods, the human race would have gone extinct long ago.

I say to all those who believe that wanking and porn are just for the basement prowlers, go do a reality check.

I recently committed a couple of surveys on different discord and slack chatrooms where I discovered that 80% of the men still care more about the boobs than ass. It really seems like that it is a myth that more men have turned from boobs-men to ass-men in the past couple of decades than ever before.

I used to masturbate all the time when I used to work at the farm in my ancestral village but I do it very rarely since I came to the big city that I have been living in now for years.

I recently had a dream about one undiscovered planet in the universe where they give birth to the young ones through masturbation only and these aliens produce only one sperm cell during each ejaculation. They looked just like us.

There is a lot of development and advancement going on in the sex doll industry and you can’t deny it

The rise of Tinder has had no effect on the porn watchers or escort lovers but it definitely increased the sales of female sex doll by showing to the men that they are better off fucking a good looking sex doll than fucking some stranger that they met on Tinder and get a STD.

I personally hate the term ‘serious fucking’, because I believe that if fucking becomes serious, what shall we be left with? I can only picture a sight of violent and enforced sex when I hear or read the term ‘serious fucking’.

One of my good friends jokes that there will be sex wars in the future, the battalions that will be able to fuck for longer will come up as winners. This crazy friend of mine tells me that he once had a dream that Taliban was teaching their young men in a way to sharp shoot the ejaculation in the opponent’s eye and blind him/her. He also claims that they now deliberately let the homosexual and females in the army otherwise the army was getting so sexually suppressed that there could have been none left there, especially the descendants of the veterans were among the first one to leave.

I believe that porn and sex dolls are responsible for lesser marriages in the modern times and hence lesser divorces and also more happiness throughout the world.

I wonder all the time what the stripping and strip poles in the future be like. There is no denying that there will be stripper dolls as well just like there are such advanced sex dolls now and they will really be able to replace the original.